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Sleepless nights...

I’m always searching and wondering, never quite content. I try often to remember the times in my life when I felt full, peaceful, and happy. They are brief moments buried in the libraries of my mind. Unless I go looking for them they often hide. Family. In that one word I can tell you when and how I was the happiest and content. Not knowing then, how lucky I was, all I wanted to do was go. My childhood was full. Precious moments in a house always full of people, love and laughter. Riding my blue 12 speed bike through nature trails with big brother Greg, I still remember the exact shade and if I close my eyes I can even see the twists and turns. Exchanging jokes and remarks at the dinner table, or anywhere with Tasso getting everyone to laugh, the world was our stage. Christmas! Easter Baskets full of chocolate. My room was the safest place on earth to be, always. The kitchen, where there was always something good to eat. The basement full of forgotten thin
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THE PERFECT SCHEDULE - OR - NO SCHEDULE AT ALL

It would be very nice and convenient if I could set aside a special time where I would just sit down and write. It would be ideal to have a schedule for the day in which there is a specific time where I would have the quiet I need and the creativity flow inspiring me to be the great writer that I know I am. But that is not the case. You see, I’m washing dishes and I’m not really just washing dishes. I’m doing a scene in my head and sometimes saying the parts in a low whisper when my 9 year old daughter walks in and kindly asks, “Mommy are you talking to that dish?”   I am running the vacuum but the noise is blocked out because in my head I am in Paris shopping. While I make the beds and pick up whatever is not in its place, I am questioning methods, philosophies and pondering on human behavior in general or in specific. You see, the Greek DNA flowing through my veins throws me in a philosophical state at any given moment. Usually not the planned kind of moments, but rath
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      The sea has transformed its loud, crashing, wild waves into a serene lake-like body of water tired from the hot summer. The summer haze is gone. The air is clear and where once you would see what you thought was the horizon, now you stare into another world where the people speak a different language than you and nothing is quite like here. The silhouette of Turkey lays mysteriously in the background with its city lights flickering in the late evening adding romance to the already breathtaking scenery. There are  a few white puffs of clouds here and there in the sky resembling watercolor brush strokes of titanium white on a canvas of Mediterranean blue. Summer has gracefully handed autumn over to us. The smell of freshly chopped wood belongs to every village, replacing the summer scents of coconut tanning oils. Anxiously, I wait to pick oranges and mandarins and whip up a batch of fresh marmalade. After the wonderful summer months have past I admit to being ready to
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Don't compare your happiness!

What makes you happy? For everyone it is something different, because after all we are all different  and unique, right? I'm sure that is a statement we all know. So, then why do we compare what  makes happy with someone else? If crocheting gives you joy, let it ..don't  compare it with the millionaire on the yacht and think; sitting on my comfy  couch making this pretty design is nice, but imagine if I had a yacht ? Well, guess what you have what you want and need to have in life according to  your choices. Enjoy your happy, shiny moment that gives you a smile and  warmth in your heart instead of sabotaging your joy with the stereotype of  what happy means. We have all been programmed from a very early age, according to others, what  the ideal picture of happiness is, or should be. In our minds therefore we compare whatever nice moments we have to that vision and soon our  personal joyful moment becomes unimportant or sometimes overlooked  en
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To do or not to do..

        I can honesty say that I have a masters degree in the Arts of Procrastination and Circumstance manipulation through the development of solid excuses. Actually, I think that it is a trait that I have unfortunately passed on to my daughter. Until now, realizing the potential harm in my daughter's future, I was quite comfortable with this.  I found myself doing some of those same things. Ahhh..so that is why I am having trouble at being awesome! I knew there was a reason. My passion is great my mind is greater..I should be doing everything I do at a level of complete awesomeness!       However, after a parent-teachers conference where I was told that she is a brilliant child who tries very little is distracted too easily and doesn't finish what she starts, I began to think of ways to help her overcome these obstacles of learning starting with changing me.              So, my internet search for reading material began. Those who seek shall find! Some of the most helpfu
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When in crisis.....

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    Perhaps living in Greece at the moment is not the wisest of choices one can make. For me, every day is a emotional struggle. I know that there are many people out there living in conditions much worse than mine, so along with the feeling that my pockets are empty and I can't afford that little extra thing my daughter asked me to buy her, I also feel guilty for not trying to keep my head up high until the worst is over.      Most of the time I admit that my lifestyle, although compromised greatly, is actually pretty good.  We own our own home, we don't owe any money to anyone, we are blessed to live on such a beautiful island and we are all in good health.       I shouldn't be complaining or depressed given these conditions. I should be feeling grateful and blessed. I should be thinking of creative ways to stretch my euro. The artist in me should be discovering new ways to entertain and uplift my family. There is a long list of shoulds. However, there are more lists
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Purpose

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          I've been blessed with something I believed was a curse for many years.  To be in a whirlwind of interests and talents my whole life drifting to one and then another depending on circumstance or maybe even the weather. When I wanted to excel in one, I would find myself distracted by another. My life became a battlefield of things I love. Juggling all that along with my everyday roles of Involved mother, Passionate wife, Caring friend, etc..etc.. things got a bit scary.           Everything matters in this life weather we like it or not. You can choose to care or not, but that doesn't change the facts. I care about everything. From the ground I walk on to the sky above me and everything in between. Your thinking, "Wow, no wonder she's crazy." Yes, I am and I love it!           So, all this caring about everything and simultaneously trying to accomplish everything led to a meltdown eventually. The fear of dying with my music still in me drove me
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